what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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