i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
