Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
