Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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