I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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