He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
