So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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