My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
