how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize