If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
What a dumb baby whore.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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