he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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