you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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