Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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