Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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