I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
