my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
They have beer where we have blood.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
