You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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