1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked