I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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