did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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