The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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