can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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