it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He shit in the fireplace
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
