a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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