I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Dicks are not precious.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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