I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize