sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize