So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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