You're my little dorito
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
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