At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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