You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
As shirtless as possible
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
