what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
