I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
