I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
