Sponge bath it is.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i wish my penis had a tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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