Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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