one two three fourrrrnication!
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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