my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
