i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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