I hate your face
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
