For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize