I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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