we're chasing vodka with high fives
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
