He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
