You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.