So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
