They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize