we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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