If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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