There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Your cock deserves a montage
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
