this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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