I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
