He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Randomize
