she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
It's blow job season.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize