I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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