did you get engaged???
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize