is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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