your thong is hanging out like whoa
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
