my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
