What a fucking waste of an outfit
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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