wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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